i was diagnosed with major depression as a child and bipolar II disorder later. i went into my first psychiatric hospital at the age of 14, and have been hospitalized numerous times since then. i have struggled with self-harm, alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and multiple suicide attempts. after spending so many years on different anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, amphetamines, etc. my doctors and i have realized that i am very resistant to medication and find that either my body or mind cannot handle them. we are in early discussions regarding electroshock therapy. i write my blog to try and give people an idea of what it is like to live with these disorders. unlike other blogs that try to concentrate on the positive while giving a vague idea of their issues, i decided to give the most honest description of my life with said disorders. i discuss my therapies, my coping skills, the side effects of whatever medication i happen to be on, and my thought patterns and ideas. it can be hard to read sometimes, but it can also be harder to deal with every day. my hope is that i am able to show just how horrible and confusing life can be with this. i want to have an honest discussion about things, and hope i am able to teach people a few things that might help them handle their own mental illness and/or the illness of a friend or family member.
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